The Chronicles of George, Page One

Ticket 001

We begin with a lovely example of how George's tickets usually are. Note the strange spacing, the awful grammar, and general weirdness. However, I can't fault him terribly over-much, since there are some days I wish we really did have an anti-Norton virus.

Ticket 002

One of the printers is acting weird. George is typing weird. Note the use of the word "havening". This is a word that George uses often—hey, at least he's consistent. I believe "firing" refers to the Fiery printer controllers we have at work, but who the hell knows?

Ticket 003

Havening again. George is always havening things. Today, we're havening problems getting nocked of the network. George is havening problems thinking coherently.

Ticket 004

Yeah, and never will I figure this out on my own.

Ticket 005

Everyone else's internet is OK. It's just hers that is screwed up.

Ticket 006

Really? Will she be using Powerpoint for the presentation she is havening over Powerpoint on the March 16?

Ticket 007

Anybody read The Wheel of Time? I think a computer with Lan on it would be scary. You'd press ctrl-alt-del and he'd pop out and kick your ass.

Ticket 009

Some of these tickets speak for themselves. This time, not only is the user havening problems, she isn't even recievening any error messages.

Ticket 010

Really? What is it eating?

Ticket 011

George went through a period of time where he called a computer a "cp", apparently a cross between "PC" and "CPU". I need to needed tell him to stop it.

Ticket 012

And you can bet that I brung it down what-good.

Ticket 013

So, it's fixed?

Ticket 014

Because what? Funny, I don't remember ever havening a conversation about this issue.

Ticket 015

Oh, man. This one gets my vote for "Best George Ticket of All Time". My hole area can't send e-mails either, but I don't consider that a problem. Perhaps I'm just different.

Ticket 016

Riiiight. This is one of those problems where you go down to the user and say, "Okay, now, the Helpdesk wasn't very clear as to what's happening down here. Would you explain it to me from the beginning?"

Ticket 017

Well, at least he didn't type "dick space" instead of "disk space".

Ticket 018

Really? Is that really what it said?

Are you sure?

Ticket 019

I cried when I read this.

Ticket 020

Guess I better do something, or we might not get paid. Or something.

Ticket 021

The user needs to do what to whom? And with how many servers?

Ticket 022

Wow. Just...wow. And I have to work with this guy.

Ticket 023

I hate it when I don't even have read access to my computer. I can't even turn it on!

Ticket 024

I would like to havening not read b0rked tickets.

Ticket 025

Yeah, I don't blame her. I wouldn't have told him anything either.

Ticket 026

Yeah! That's the spirit! "I think I'll have to reinstall Networking on...oh, the hell with it! I'll just replace the damn thing!"

Ticket 027

Okay. I'll get right on that. How many boxes it is? When he like it install?

Ticket 028

AAAARGH! Adobe WHAT? ADOBE WHAT? Does she have problems with MICROSOFT, TOO?